Relationship Boost - The Love List

Judith Joy

All too often couples find themselves playing the shame-blame game. He did this. She said that. And so on. All of this is low vibe and slowly tears apart the relationship. And the more this is done, the more high vibe slips away, and the worse people feel. This sets up a cycle of worse feelings feeding more worse feelings.

It doesn’t have to be this way. The solution is first to be willing to be and feel better. Next, shift your focus. Afterall, what you focus on is what you get.

If you focus on what is wrong, you will find more things wrong, which will keep you in the shame-blame game. In addition, when you are there, your body tenses and constricts. In short, you are adding stress to your body.

If you focus on what you love, you will find more to love, and quite possibly have a better relationship. You will even feel better regardless of what happens in the relationship. When this happens, your body relaxes, and stress seems to melt away.

When you are being high vibe, you are in your power. This is when life works for you with ease. It’s your choice if you stay in high vibe. No one can take you out of it without your consent. Why would you let anyone steal your high vibe?

To switch back into high vibe, try listing the things you love about your partner and the ways your partner shows you that he loves you. It’s actually easier than you think. Start with:

  • I love when he/she ....
  • I love that he/she ....
  • I love how he/she ....


He/she shows his/her love when ....

It doesn’t have to be a formal list. You can just think it as you fall asleep at night. Start by noticing what it is that you love about your partner. The more you notice what you love about your partner, the better you will feel, and the better you feel, the better your relationship will be.

I tried this recently with my own husband. After 9 ½ years together, I found myself noticing the things I didn’t like, and this certainly didn’t help the marriage. Then I read a magazine article titled “The Love List.” I was so impressed with the idea, that I cut out the title and glued it to my dream creation box. (This is the box that holds my dreams, desires, hopes, and wishes. In short, my intention box.)

Here are a few things on my Love List:

  • I love that he loves me unconditionally.
  • I love knowing that I can wake him in the middle of the night for a chiropractic adjustment. He is truly my naked chiropractor and is always willing to help me.
  • I love when he rubs my feet.
  • I love that he wants to spend time with me.
  • I love that he has a close relationship with his father.
  • I love when he holds me as we sleep.
  • I love how he kisses me and gives me a shoulder rub in the mornings.
  • I love that his intentions always come from love.
  • I love that he supports my career fully.
  • I love that he is willing to cook dinner when I’m writing, coaching or even if I just don’t feel like it.
  • I love that he will do anything within his power to help me.
  • I love how he is always kind and loving (even when I’m not).
  • I love him.
  • You get the idea. The more I focus on what I love about him, the better I feel.

The bottom line is that when you shift your focus, your perspective expands, and you feel better.  In short, you raise your vibe.  Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.  So why not take time to remind yourself what it is you love about your partner?

And remember, don't let anyone steal your high vibe.....including yourself.

When people feel stuck, I help them get unstuck.


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It’s time to say YES! to a future that works for you. I'm here to help guide you on your journey while you achieve your desires. Please contact us today through email or by phone or text at 847-250-7450.

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