Your values are valuable. Values are those ideals that ourselves to be in order to live our lives. Who and what do you choose to be at the core of your being?
Your list will be different from others just because you are different. You can live your life according to the values you choose thus creating a life that works for you.
Many people don’t take the time to identify their personal values and live life unconsciously. Although if you know what your values are, then your actions become obvious. For example, if you value honesty and integrity, then when the opportunity to steal from someone arises, you will choose not to do so.
In a philanthropy board meeting recently, it was brought to my attention that an organization that the board has long supported did something against their core value of independence. They accepted money from the government with a lot of restrictions attached to it. Looking at it from the outside, it appears as if they aren’t in alignment with their value of independence. They aren’t being integrous.
Since integrity is a deeply held value of the board, we had a long discussion about this organization. Because of the overall good they do, we are supporting the organization AND at the same time, letting them know that this will not continue if they are acting outside of their stated values.
So, what does this mean for you?
What are your values? Do your actions support your values?
It’s that simple.
What are your values?
There are many online lists of values to choose from. Some have over 200 values. Take the time to research which ones align with you and who you’d like to be. The following are a few random values to choose from:
What do you do with your list of values?
Chances are that you will have a long list. Not to worry. Look for the common denominators and group those together.
Now look at one pile. Are there one or two that stand out as most important? Or is there one that could include the others in that grouping?
What you are trying to do is whittle down the list to include the ones that are most important to you. (Don’t worry. You can play with the list and change it until it feels solid.)
Start living your life. For example, if kindness is the value that you would like to be, look at every interaction you have with yourself and others. Look for a way that you can accomplish what needs to be done AND be kind. It may be as simple as allowing someone into your lane as you drive.
What gets in the way of living up to your values?
Put simply, emotions get in the way. We do things for the feelings they give us. Very often we are acting from the need to fulfill a feeling. For example, you may be needing “Daddy’s” attention, needing the next fix, or wanting to be a “good girl.” A lot of this is unconscious. That means that you aren’t aware of it.
And since feelings lead the way, your actions will try to fulfill these needs.
How do you move toward your values?
One very effective way to align your values and actions is to do hand balancing. In short, you take something you don’t want and balance it with something you do desire thus neutralizing the energy. This will calm down or eliminate the errant feelings and allow you to live by your values. See https://yeswithjoy.com/2013/07/hand-balancing-exercise/ for more about how todo this.
Now that you have chosen your values and aligned yourself with them, you will be able to breathe easier as you act and live the life you are choosing to live. You will have a life that works for you.