Process Out the Uncomfortable

Judith Joy

Process Out the UncomfortableHave you ever experienced something, and you quickly felt uncomfortable?

  • You open an email and get a sinking feeling.
  • You have to be on stage, and every time you think of it, you want to throw up.
  • Someone walks into the room and you are looking for a corner to hide in because you fear getting criticized.
  • Or perhaps the entire year of 2020 was uncomfortable in many ways.

Very often the uncomfortable feeling shows up in your body as clenching, twisting, jiggling, tightening, cramping, aching, or throbbing. Or maybe you avoid “it” at all costs and are resisting with all your might. In essence, the feeling is running the show.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Outside circumstances do not have to dictate how you feel. You have a choice and can choose a new feeling.

These uncomfortable feelings are a blessing in disguise. Uncomfortable only means you have a trigger that is igniting a feeling. Clear the trigger and you are back to comfortable. In this way, you will look forward to triggers so that you can clear them. The more you clear them, the less you are triggered and thus the more ease you’ll have in your life. The choice is yours.

One way to deal with the uncomfortable feeling is to support the body by doing things that feel good. This can look like massages, hot baths, long walks, and other things to feel better. However, this is only temporary, and the feeling will return.

To truly deal with the trigger and move from uncomfortable to comfortable, you will need to deactivate the feeling. Amazingly, this is where imagination plays an important role. If you can imagine it, then it is possible.

What you are experiencing and what you imagine is possible are in a relationship, and there is a connection between them.

We often think of relationships between people and forget that everything is in relationship to something else. For example, you are in relationship to the chair you are sitting on. Your coffee is in relationship with the cup.

The same is true of your thoughts and feelings. You have a thought and then you have a feeling about that thought. The thought and the feeling are in a relationship.

Many people think that the thought controls the destiny. However, it’s really the feeling about the thought that magnetizes what happens. The best place to be about feelings is neutral so that you have true choice. Otherwise the feeling will pull or push you and influence your choices.

Thus, an uncomfortable feeling will influence what you choose to be, have or do. The ideal is to be able to neutralize the uncomfortable feeling. To move from uncomfortable to comfortable try this Feel-Flip-Focus technique.

Moving to Comfortable

  1. Notice: What are you feeling? What body sensations are you experiencing?
  2. Ask: What can this be about? Go with your gut, even if it doesn’t seem logical.
  3. Rather: What would you rather experience? Chances are you don’t want to experience the uncomfortable feeling and would rather feel comfortable. What experience do you think would give you that comfortable feeling?
  4. Set up: Determine the two points that are in relationship. These two points can be what you think is causing the uncomfortable feeling and what you imagine will give you the comfortable feeling. Or even better, you can make the first point what you want (I want....) and the second point what you have (I have...). The clue here is that both points are the same thing. The difference is that at one point you want it and the other point you have it.
  5. Travel: Pretend there is a highway between the two points. In your mind, start traveling the highway. When you are at the “I want” point feel what you feel. Then travel to the second point, the “I have” point, and feel what you feel there. Go back and forth multiple times. You will know when you are done when you feel the same at both points. Don’t force it. Just allow it to be what it is.
  6. Awareness: What thought popped in while you were traveling between points? This thought will give you a clue about something else that you can do this process on.

As we approach the new year, know that you now have a way of moving from the uncomfortable to the comfortable – no matter what happens or how others feel. You can choose to let go of the uncomfortable and make a true choice without the uncomfortable feeling running the show. New possibilities open up and you will bring more ease into your life. Your feelings are your choice.

When people feel stuck, I help them get unstuck.


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