I took a page from my daughter’s playbook and set aside a day to de-people. I actually planned a day (and wrote it in my calendar) in which I didn’t interact with other people, except for my husband. Even he respected my alone time and he chose to go hit golf balls, go to the grocery store and make dinner (including cleaning up). I’m so lucky to have him in my life.
What is the origin of these de-peopling days?
Shoshi is a highly sensitive individual, especially to her environment. For example, she has super sensitive hearing and can hear the electricity in the walls. In addition, she feels the emotions of everyone around her, which is useful as she is an intuitive. However, being around lots of people is very draining for her.
She noticed that after events where a lot of people were present (or just being in the city of Chicago) she would feel drained and would get sick, unless she scheduled days of staying home without interacting with people and focusing on herself. So, she started doing this and calls them de-peopling days. She doesn’t even answer the phone. That’s how serious she is about preserving her de-peopling time.
Why did I choose to de-people?
In past years when I did the annual Infinity Foundation practitioner’s fair (where I give mini sessions and have to be “on”), the day after was difficult. Very often I’d have aches and pains, including headaches, and I’d be forced to unplug because I felt horrible.
This year, I had the idea to try de-peopling. I had nothing planned for the two days after the fair, so I didn’t have to cancel plans. And it was at the end of a very busy month, which included four weeks of visitors. Even though they were family, it was still draining.
What was the result?
One day turned into two, and I awoke on the third day with a sense of openness and a “can do” attitude. In addition, I noticed other benefits as well.
To begin with, I woke up late on the first day and my body felt good. I didn’t even have a headache. Then, my husband and I enjoyed some time together (wink, wink).
Then Shoshi called, and when I told her I was de-peopling, she said have fun and hung up. I must have energetically blocked the phone, because no one else called all day. The day was filled with whatever I wanted to do. I read part of a book to review. (I finally found a good one after a string of not so good books.) I took a bath followed by a nap. Then Bruce and I watched a movie.
The next day, I had plans with Shoshi to have our weekly energy alignment lunch. I thought that one day of de-peopling would have been enough, even though I didn’t really feel de-peopled. Since I didn’t honor my de-peopling (and knew it), I got a headache. After two hours in a restaurant, I reclaimed my de-peopling and went home.
What rules did I have for my de-peopling?
There was one rule. Well truthfully, there were two. The first was not to interact with people, not even casually. I didn’t even take myself out to lunch, I just chilled. (Except for when I tried to lunch with Shoshi.)
The second rule was to ask myself, “What do I choose to do in this moment?” So, when Bruce mentioned about watching a movie later, I told him I’d let him know what I chose to do when that moment arrived. I lived the weekend asking myself this question. It was a totally different experience. I’m going to have to do more experimenting with this. It felt liberating choosing what I wanted to do instead of what I should do.
By the end of two days of de-peopling, I was feeling more centered and grounded.
I realize that I’m in a situation (kids are grown and out) that allows for me to de-people easily. If your kids are still home, perhaps you can swap de-peopling with a friend or send them to grandma’s for a day. What else is possible?
In the meantime, ask yourself, “What do I choose to do (to de-people) in this moment?” These are not the “I have to do’s.” These are the “I choose to do’s.” Listen for the answer, and then do it. You may not have days to set aside to de-people, but you can have moments. A string of moments is a whole lot better than not taking care of yourself at all.
And as an added bonus, you might not even have to get sick to have time for yourself. Look for the opportunities. They are there if you can think outside the box.