When Someone Says Something You Don’t Like. . .

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What are you doing against yourself that could be labeled as passive aggressive?
When I heard in a class that according to a personality test, I could be passive aggressive, my mind immediately went to, “not me.”  But that is what I don’t like in others.  And since what we don’t like in others is actually something we don’t like in ourselves, maybe it could be true.  I just tucked it away in the back of my mind and the class continued.

A few days later, the whole idea of me being passive aggressive came up to be reviewed.  It was one of those thoughts that just popped in. The questioning began.  What if he is right?  What if I am passive aggressive?  Where is it showing up in my life?  What am I being passive aggressive about?  What could I do differently?

What I found out is that I’m passive aggressive towards myself.  I sabotage myself all the time.  This is a huge insight!  While I knew on some level that I do trip myself up, I didn’t know why.

Being passive aggressive shows up as being “nice” and giving the other person their way, without me expressing my true opinion.  In the end, I get mad about the choice, get internally resentful and then make choices from there.  It’s me that gave up the choice.  They were only doing what I asked.

It also shows up as knowing that I want to write every day, but then doing other things (even when I have the ideas to write), so that by the time I sit down to write, it doesn’t feel fresh or I’m tired because I’ve done everything else first.  Again, it was my choice.  And by giving up my choice, I’m actually giving up my personal power.

The list goes on.

So, what is at the root of this?  So far, I’ve uncovered the need to be liked, to avoid embarrassment, to have approval, and to not be ignored.  I thought that I’d already released and cleared these issues.  Apparently, this is another layer ready to be let go and once I notice it, it’s easier to clear.

As I mentioned in the last blog, I’m doing a copper detox.  A bonus of this is that I’m in the space of “just get it done.”  Gentle graces are falling away. (Translation, I don’t care about so much stuff.)  I don’t think I’m being rude.  It’s more that I’m not afraid to say what is on my mind.

And do you know what? The fear was just in my own mind. The people I talked with (who were involved with the issues) were shocked with what I had to say, but it opened the conversation.  I took my power back, expressed my true thoughts, and the world didn’t cave in.

So much of the fear we are living with isn’t real…except we think it is.  And then our actions are based on our perceptions, which are based on our thoughts and feelings.

Every day conversations give us clues that help us discover another layer that can be cleared…If we are open to truly looking within.  The only changes that can truly happen are those that come from within.  So, the next time someone says something that triggers your feelings, be grateful that whatever the topic is has been brought up for you to clear and release.  It’s sort of a catch and release program.  (My husband is a fisherman.)  Catch the thought and then release it.

So, what is the take away?

  • We release in layers.
  • New layers are coming up all the time.
  • What we don’t like in others is actually something we don’t like in ourselves.
  • When someone says something you don’t like, look for what is right about what he is saying.There is something in there that is triggering you.
  • Fear isn’t real, except in our minds.
  • You don’t have to hold onto feelings forever. You can let them go.
  • When you give up your choices, you give up your power.


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