It started out as a simple phone call. My ex called to talk with Adam. After the initial contact on the phone, Adam ran up to my office computer to use Skype, a phone through the computer. While they were online, Shoshi Skyped home, their dad’s connection was fuzzy, so he hung up. Then Bethany called on the phone to say she got a new job. YEAH! We put her on the speaker phone in front of the computer and the three kids talked with each other. Eventually their dad called back, Shoshi was put on hold and the phone shuffle continued. Shoshi Skyped again, and finally someone said: “Wouldn’t it be great to all be on Skype?”
We had all tried it previously, except for Adam. Wouldn’t you know it, the 11 year old figured it out. (Or could it have been the debugging program I ran last week on Skype?) But the point is, that they were all able to talk at one time from China, Boston, Philadelphia, and Chicago. Totally amazing.
But what I was thankful for was the laughter. I stayed in the office working in my creative chair and didn’t pay much attention to the talking. But I did notice the constant laughter among the four of them. It was such a joy to hear them having a good time together.
I’m able to appreciate the laughter that my ex brings into my kids’ lives. This is a gift. And what was more interesting, besides the girls calling at the same time, was that everyone called my home and I was able to say hi then give them the space to be with their Dad while being happy for them. It makes me very glad that I listened to some very good divorce advice – let your children make their own relationship with their father. I try very hard to not to influence it one way or the other. They will see each of us for who we are. And just as the song says, “Letting go is hard to do.” But totally worth it.