Yes With Joy

As a kid, JT (now 25) was president of the Moan and Groan Club.  He used to complain a lot.  But last week at lunch, we were reminiscing and I mentioned this.  The kids cracked up laughing.  I didn’t get it.  Their minds went sexual because the previous thread of comments had been about sex.  This new perspective was a whole different way of looking at this simple comment.

Then I realized that JT’s perspective had changed also.  Two weeks ago, he started an internship at an elite fitness training facility with high school, college, and pro athletes.  At first he complained that he wasn’t getting paid because it was an internship and all he did was clean the gym and lift 45 pound weights all day.  But then I could see the light switch flip on in his head.

He has his dream job – doing strength and conditioning with pro athletes.  This is what he’s always wanted to do.  He set himself up for this by becoming a massage therapist, majoring in kinesiology (exercise) in college, competing in college level wrestling, and coaching high school wrestling for many years.  And here he is with his first job out of college…his dream job.

Needless to say, he loves it.  They love him.  He is a powerful leader and has already been given more to do than the average intern.  He’s exercising all day.  He’s coaching.  He’s upbeat.  He loves going to work.  And by chance, they needed another massage therapist, and he can fill in (and get paid).

It’s great as a parent to see the light switch turn on in his head.  It makes all the difference in the world to change the perspective.  But now, he’s the president of the Moan and Groan Club for an entirely new reason.  He’s making these athletes moan and groan as they grunt and strive to be even better. He’s living his dream.

On Christmas Day, my granddaughter was born.  Everyone told me that the feelings of a grandmother are different than a mother, but I didn’t believe them.  Well, they were right.  My heart turns on just thinking of her.  When I was holding her, I found my love just pouring out of me.  And even as I write this, I can feel my heart start up and light the world around me.

Oh what a cool feeling.  Imagine all the good that can be done in the world if more people could feel this good all the time.  The world would literally be filled with love, peace and contentment.  Being a grandmother is great.  I’m so grateful that I was able to help my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter during this wonderful transition time for their family.

What turns your heart on?  What gets your love motor running?

Parents don’t have a baby and consciously think, “What can I say to screw up my child’s life?  What false beliefs can I program into its little head?”  Every parent (or at least I’d like to believe every parent) does what they think is right.  Their intentions are good.  However, sometimes the outcome it quite different.  There are unintended consequences.  Some of these are good.  Others…not so much.

As I grew up, my dad pushed me to be better.  So far, so good.  But in my head, I heard him say, “No. You’re wrong.” Then on top of that my mom said, “Oh, poor baby.”  I didn’t even realize it was in my vocabulary until one of my second grade students said it back to me when I didn’t feel well one day in school.

By themselves, these statements are just fine.  But in my head, they really screwed with my self-confidence.  Fast forward fifty-five years.  I’ve been doing a lot of inner work, and I mean a lot.  I thought I was done with being a victim.  But this past weekend I was in a class with Dr. Leonard Coldwell and he said, “Your past has brought you to where you are today.”

I’d heard it before, but this weekend, it resonated with me in a new way.  With that one statement, I had a new insight.  I was still playing the victim.  It took that one insight, and I was done with it.  If it hadn’t been for losing my self-confidence and self-esteem (not all by my folks, I had other help too, including me), I wouldn’t be an empowerment coach.  I guess I had to feel the other side to know how and why to empower people, which by the way is my passion.

So in a round-about way, my folks did do good.  Thank you for leading me to where I am today.  I love my life and it wouldn’t be the same without your valuable guidance.  Even if you didn’t know this is where it was going.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.