Rules are just beliefs we tell ourselves. Unfortunately, many of us think that what we are feeling is “right” because that is what we are used to feeling. It’s just a habit, even if they are thoughts.
There is a story about a baby elephant with a rope tied around its ankle and the other end of the rope was attached to a fixed post. The baby elephant couldn’t move very far because the rope and post were stronger than he was. As the elephant grew, it gave up and just accepted what it felt was its reality. By the time the elephant became an adult and was certainly stronger than the rope and post holding it, it could have pulled the whole thing out of the ground and walked away. But it had given up and just accepted that the rope was stronger. So, it did nothing and thus stayed exactly where it was.
Along the way, we have managed to pick up false beliefs just as this elephant did. Maybe at one time they worked for us, or maybe we just unconsciously accepted the belief and agreed to it. But the important thing is to realize that many of the beliefs we live by aren’t true for us. They can be true for someone else, but we can choose better beliefs.
Did you know that you can make up your own rules? You can choose which rules apply to your life. That’s right. We get to make up the rules we live. You no longer have to believe “that’s just the way it is.” If you don’t like a rule or if it no longer works for you, simply make up a new rule. After all, a rule is just a statement you (or someone else) decided was “right.”
The purpose of this technique is to clarify the rules you choose to live. If you keep with it, you will have a clear understanding of how you expect life to show up for you. This is a lifelong guide that you can add to any time you make up a new rule. You can keep track of your rules on notecards or in a journal.
- Notice when you say always, never, that’s reality, or it is just that way. These are very limiting and don’t give you any wiggle room. They usually refer to a rule that you have picked up and have adopted as yours.
- Tweeze out what the rule is. For example, take the phrase: Everything is hard. If you say this, you have in effect just told the Universe this is what I believe, please bring me more experiences to support this belief.
- Say: New Rule. And then decide what you would like life to be like for you. Perhaps a new rule could be: If it is meant to happen, it will happen with ease. Or…All of life comes to me with ease, joy and love. Or everything happens for a reason. I wonder what the reason is that ________ showed up in my life?
- Keep playing with the wording until you are comfortable and it feels expansive.
Have fun with creating the rules for your life. The more fun you have, the better the rules will be and the better your life will become.