Yesterday was a beach day down here in Florida. Perfect weather…75 degrees, sunny, light breeze. Lots of sand and water. And new friends for my grandkids to play with.
It’s this new friends bit I’d like to talk about. A mother (about my daughter’s age) and her two sons (ages 4½ and 6) happened to sit next to us at the water’s edge. For some reason, the boys constantly came up to me to show me their finds from under the water. The mom and I laughed at this phenomenon, but I oohed and ahhhed over each find.
Until then, the four kids were playing on the same beach, perhaps six feet from each other, but had little interaction. It wasn’t until the boys were digging a hole and filling it with water that the grownups thought that perhaps the kids could play together. I had the thought. The other mom voiced the invitation. And my grandkids hid behind my daughter and myself. After some encouragement, they joined the boys digging in the sand.
This got me thinking. What sensations was I feeling to allow the boys into my experience? And what sensations were the kids and my daughter feeling to have their experiences? I don’t know exactly, but I do know that the sensation I was having was familiar to me. It’s sort of a cautious, hold back, observe feeling until I could slide in to the interaction. But I also had going for me the feeling of peace and calm. The first is a constricted feeling. The second is an expansive feeling.
Now that I write this, I realize that the holding back feeling could have been because I was picking up on the feelings from my grandkids, and I recognized them because that is how I used to do things. Whereas, in that moment I was feeling peace and calm. On the outside, they look the same. But the experiences they attract are different. They boys were attracted to my peace and calm instead of the holding back from my grandkids. Although, as soon as the kids were digging together, everyone was having a great time.
What is important here is, “What are the physical sensations you are actually experiencing?” Choose these sensations before an event and there is much more likelihood that the experiences that match those sensations will be attracted to you.
It’s more than just knowing that I was going for the peace and calm. I’d defined some of what that meant to my body. When I’m peace and calm, my shoulders relax, my breath is slow and deep, and I have the sensation of any tension vanishing as if I was chocolate melting in the sun.
The sensation you hope to have when you have your desire is the true desire you are going for. After all, we do things because of the physical sensations we hope to feel.
True Desire Technique: Possibility Wave
What are the physical sensations you are striving for by having the desire and the feelings? Dig deep. Keep asking yourself this question as you get more specific to what your body will actually feel. (Just knowing that you want to be calm isn’t enough. What does calm feel like to you? What does your body experience when it is calm?)
Imagine a giant wave. Each drop of water in the wave is a possibility. The larger the wave, the more possibilities there are.
Pretend you are pointing to specific drops of water that are a representation of the sensation you are after.
After each point is chosen, pay attention to how your body actually feels in that moment.
For the next point, go for a better feeling. And then one even better than that. And then another one.
Notice how your body feels different after you have spent just a few minutes focusing on the physical sensation you are truly desiring.
It’s that easy. Choose your true desire and then focus on it by feeling it over and over.
I hope your day today is filled with wonderful sensations.